Yay for Cell Phone jammers!

The cell phone jammer I ordered finally arrived, it's well worth the $25. It's a little hand held one, it's suppose to have about a ten foot range, but it seems wider than that. So far I've cut off 3 customers off from talking. One of them was talking loudly throughout the store, got him before he even made it half way towards the counter. Next was a lady with a blue-tooth, I said "Hello" and she said "Yeah, um what you want for dinner?", then all of a sudden she stopped talking about dinner, oh ha. The 3rd guy really pissed me off, he called someone while he was next in line and then started to argue with who ever he was talking to, he only got maybe 10 seconds of talk time.

So far the reaction to losing a call is they look at their phone, shrug their shoulders and put the phone down. No big deal, and I get them out of the store faster. It's a win win for sure.

My rules for cell phone edict are pretty simple, do not be near the cashier while on a cell phone.

Advice

In an average 8 hour day at least one customer will ask for advice, and not advice about which wine is better, but advice about their lives. I know it's good to get an outsiders opinion on things, but come on, for real people?

This 40ish year old lady who looks like she spent her fair share of time on back of a motorcycle says "Do you know of any other tattoo shops in town?" I looked up at her and saw her upper lip is majorly swollen. She then tells me "I got a lip ring last night and I decided I didn't really want it, so I went to take it out but the pin is still stuck in my lip, I don't know what to do, I don't wanna go back to the same tattoo place." My advice was "Why don't you go to the ER...NOW!" She then says "I'm afraid they'll put a scar on my face getting the pin out." Hmm, so she'd rather pay someone at tattoo shop then pay a doctor, ok, sure...

This blond lady who looked about 30ish says "MEN, UGH I HATE MEN, you know what I'm talking about ladies, can't live with em and can't live without em, UGH!" I just nod my head and smile, and then she went more into a rant "My boyfriend of 3 months now...ugh..I only see him maybe 3 times a week cause he is always busy. Well we were suppose to get together tonight but I just got a phone call from him that he is at the bar. I don't know if I should go to the bar or just go home, I mean would I appear as a psycho girlfriend if I go to the bar? Should I put up with this shit??" Too much info on your sad relationship lady, but I replied "Maybe he told you where he was so you'd would join him."

A married coupled came in discussing how their relatives and friends discipline their kids and wonder the outcome of those kids when they grow up. They asked me "You think today's kids are disciplined and well mannered?" I responded a bit too honest for their taste "I think kids should be taught manners in school since about 75% of parents nowadays don't have manners in my opinion." They looked at me in shocked, like they never met a rude person in their lives or something, they must of never ran a register before.

Smile

"Smile, it aint that bad." said by numerous male customers everyday. I guess because I'm a girl I'm suppose to smile at men 24/7 for my whole life. Sorry guys, it's not that I won't, it's that I can't, it's impossible.

Sometimes I am smiling, not because I'm happy to see a customer, but maybe I heard a joke or saw something funny and what do I hear the next male customer say? They say "What are you smiling at?" Alright, so I can't win. I guess I'm suppose to smile on command.

Hmm but I don't get a higher pay rate if I smile or not, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

So one day a car hit our sign

It was at least 9 months ago one rainy day when a car decided to take out our front sign. This sign has been standing in the same spot for at least 30 years now. Never cause anyone any problems, never hurt any one before. It use to stand about 30ish feet tall. It had 2 metal poles on either side holding up a big metal sheet that read '***** Liquors - Beer, Wine and Spirits' and then there was one of those sign boards that we would post some type of special going on.

It was a Tuesday morning, it was sort of warm out but the skies were full of rain. The sign was just standing there like it normally did, also the trash dumpster was minding it's own business, the boss' car was just sitting there all in it's normal parking spot when...

The store is located on a very busy highway, sort of sounded like a mac truck hitting a bump in the road. No one even looked out the window to see...until the guy who was sitting in his car in the parking lot came into the store and said "Um that's a mess out there." Wtf is this guy talking about, we look out and see our 2 legged sign is now down to 1 leg, the metal sheet is now waving in the wind across the busy highway hanging on by a few nails and screws, the boss' car's roof  is smashed  in and there's an unknown car sitting in the dumpster.

911, the local cops show up first, then the paramedics. The driver is fine and is walking around. The passenger isn't coming out, ugh turns out she wasn't wearing her seat beat so she got her leg caught under the dash board, her foot wasn't attached...sort of hanging. She was put on a stretcher and whisked away in an ambulance.

Nope, this guy wasn't drunk, he passed the breathalyzer test, and no, this guy wasn't trying to pull into our parking lot either. He claims he hydroplaned into the curb (which is 3 or 4 yards away from the road) and then went about 8-10 feet airborne into the sign, bounced off the boss' car and into the dumpster. It's just odd that someone would hydroplane somewhere where water doesn't collect on the road and also somehow not have control of a wheel to just hydroplane straight. The road is straight, odd indeed.

So anyway, we had to knock down the rest of the sign with the help of a friend of a friend's front-end loader. We heard later the lady with the hanging foot was ok, they put the foot back where it belonged. Yay for her! Then we also hear that the driver wants to try to sue us, lol he didn't because he couldn't. Oh and the driver wasn't the owner of the car, so some poor smuck who let their dumbass friend borrow his car has to pay for a new sign and also the boss' car (which was totaled by the way) and this guy doesn't even have a car of his own either now.

Well in my opinion the driver of the car was just an idiot and that's what caused him to hit the curb and go airborne. The guy didn't even try to hit the breaks, there were no tire marks on the road or the parking lot and also we didn't hear the squealing of wheels. Open and shut case, but whatever.

Since we knocked down the rest of the sign because it was a threat to highway, we'll have to build a whole new sign...BUT the town won't let us. Turns out there's new rules in town so the sign isn't allowed to be rebuilt on the same spot because there's talk of one day the highway might be widen to 3 lanes wide, which might be 50-100 years from now. So we have no sign. We rented one of those blinking arrow signs, that says real small "Welcome to ***** Liquors" in those letters that always fall out when it's windy.

So we are sign-less and yet people still sort of know we sell alcohol. Now we hear "You guys should put a sign out there or something!", "What happen to your sign???" or I over hear customers say to each other "I told you this was a liquor store." as they come in through the door.

Oh and in case anyone was worried the dumpster was fine, not a din or dent.

It's Snowing

Oh joy the snow is here, time to load up on beer and liquor to keep you warm while you are snowed in at home. It's just as important as milk, or maybe more important. Don't forget to play your lottery tickets too, you're numbers will most likely come out the night you don't play them.

Make sure to be extra rude to your liquor store clerks as they lock up tonight. If you see them in the parking lot cleaning off their cars, make sure to ask them if they can open the store back up just for you, because you deserve it... You almost killed a family of 5 to get to the liquor store, so they better be open when you get there.

If they say 'No' to your request to open the store back up, make sure to tell them they are assholes. After all being rude is the only thing that will get you what you deserve...

How muh dis is?

AKA 'How much is this?' to people who know how to talk. I hear 'how muh dis is?' way too much. The only things in the store that don't wear a price sticker is beer and that's only because the coolers have the prices listed above each cooler door. Either look at the sticker or the list, it's really not hard to do.

There are the idiots who stand in the middle of the store and yell towards me things they want and before they go get, they want to know how much it is...  I find this rude because they are yelling, eirther walk closer towards me or go find out for yourself. Well I sure as shit don't know every price in the store. Ever since the invention of the computer I haven't had to memorize any prices and yes, sadly I worked here for about 4ish years without a scanner on the register and I knew all the prices of every beer in the store. It was insane knowledge to have.

Most of the time I hear 'how muh dis is?' as the person puts their stuff on the counter. Sometimes I ignore them until I'm finished ringing them up and then sometimes I say "Hmm maybe I should ring it up."

Since most of the customers have poor speech, I try to make a few feel at home by saying "Ya gotcha ID on ya?"

A good customer, what the...?

Had a phone call from a guy that said he was in about 30 minutes ago and he believes I gave him $5 too much!! Well well what a nice guy! Congrats to you mister man, not everyone is as sweet as you. He then went on to say "I wanted to make sure you didn't get you into trouble or even fired over $5." OMG what a sweetheart for sure. I said to him "Oh thank you so much, you keep it, the worst that can happen is I'll be told about the shortage but I'll think I'll be ok, Thank you so much!" Then he said he would ask about it the next time he stopped in.

After a few minutes I remembered someone gave me 3 5's when they should of gave me only 2, maybe that was him, ah most likely it was him.